Why Shouldn’t I Date an Annex-1 Guy?

By On October 7, 2009 · 69 Comments
To date or not to date and why?

To date, or not to date? ...And why?

Here with the 12 of our team tracking the delegations here at Bangkok,  I’m really tempted to go out in the evenings after a hard day’s work in the negotiations. I think that after running after 60-year-old negotiators from my country that I require some youthful energy to enthuse the atmosphere!

So the potential dating league involves the guys from the developed countries (a.k.a. the “Annex 1″ countries like the USA, Canada, European Union, Russia, Australia, Japan etc.) and the girls are from India, Brazil, China, South Africa, etc (i.e. the non-Annex 1 – or rather, developing and least developed – countries.)

From the perspective of a Non Annex 1 (Indian) girl, I feel that it would be literally impossible for me to personally find love among my team of 12 (keep in mind, there are no non-Annex 1 guys) due to the following very very STRONG reasons:

1. He is not willing to COMMIT

I was thinking about it. And then, “Leela, I will think about it, but  I have loads of domestic responsibilities (read: girls back home) to undertake,” said the American Tracker. Whereas all the others supported him, obviously, collectively coming to a decision as the European Union, but nevertheless made their individual statements.

Instead they all say: Lets start all over again, lets try and get to know each other! (Read: shift the emissions measuring baseline from the year 1990 to 2005). What is keeping you from committing? Is it the reason that you feel I’ll dominate the relationship in the long run? (Read: I’ll develop more than you over the years?)

2. He takes more   S P A C E   in the relationship

Adam- the Canadian Tracker

Adam- the Canadian Tracker

He takes more of the space in the relationship (read: has a massively higher proportion of pollution than us) and still demands he needs more space!

This is so totally NOT FAIR!

3. He refuses to FINANCE dinners

Although they have so much more money considering the dollar to baht exchange rate is amazing, they fail to fund my dinners. So I end up paying for myself, but considering that I don’t have the capacity to buy special desserts and exotic cakes, it becomes difficult to try and eat my share! (Read: we can fund local missions like solar but in case we need to scale up activities we require your help!)

4. Hates my mother (Read: Hates the rules imposed on him by the Kyoto Protocol)

Does not agree to any principles and conditions  my Indian mother puts before him, such as getting back earlier than midnight (etc., etc.,) and definitely hates my mother for them! (Read: doesn’t like the conditions imposed and will not ratify them at any cost.)

Florent- The French tracker

Florent- The French tracker

My mother is the most special and essential part of my life, how can you neglect her like this? (Read: I have signed onto the Kyoto Protocol and my commitment period is coming to an end not the protocol!)

5. Doesn’t let me use the TV remote or the computer (Read: no transfer of technology)

I am deprived of using any sort of advanced technologies. Do you think that I don’t know how to use them? I come from India , we literally live with software and know the C-to-S of computers.

6. Wouldn’t save me if I fall off a cliff / Earthquakes hits/flash floods take place

Read: We are already losing lives and their inaction on emission reductions could push us over the cliff towards run away climate change. He’s not going to come in a helicopter to save me like a Bollywood movie hero, unfortunately. (Read: countries are already feeling the effects of climate change and the world is not reaching out with enough support for adaptation.)

7. Doesn’t follow through and is indecisive

Read: One second Obama is at the United Nations  high-level summit promising big things… and yet, here in Bangkok there is little to no action to match up with those high remarks. Why do we hear different views all the time?

8. Constantly steals the covers

Is it that they just don’t have any concept of sharing?? And then they go and leave you outside in the cold in the middle of the night.

Andrea the Italian Tracker and Ole the German Tracker

Andrea the Italian Tracker and Ole the German Tracker

9. Possessive and wants daily reports

Read: They want measurable, reportable and verifiable nationally appropriate emission reductions. Here’s my question: Why do you keep tracking us when you never have an answer to us as to where you are in your own emission reductions?

10. Have such a consumption-oriented lifestyle

Waste most of their money buying goods that they don’t use! We need to shift to a more sustainable lifestyle.

11. Would not make a good father

Read: clearly doesn’t care about protecting the environment for future generations and has no concept of making a better world in general.

… So what do you say, dear Annex 1? Are you willing to change, or not?

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  • http://www.panda.org/climate Martin Hiller

    Brillant blog – go and read this at the next CAN press briefing since the comms colleagues have trouble anyway to find something intelligent to say – this is witty and to the point. And will at least amuse the media…

  • chatty

    rofl .. awesome stuff! Keep it rolling.

  • http://www.indiaclimatesolutions.com Anna da Costa

    WOW Leela! Brilliant! You made me laugh :) Great post, with some serious undertones….

  • http://swiftarrow.co.nr Linkesh Diwan

    ROFL… and a little ashamed to!!! See, I’m from the US!

  • http://wwfindia.org Shirish Sinha

    This is simply wonderful..even better than the first one, which was also great…keep writing such interesting stuff

  • Shruti Shukla

    Hahaha …girl this good ! Clever and one of the most innovative blogs. However just a line of caution the NA-1 guys may just be hiding behind the Poor (excuses)…

  • Rachel Berger

    Great – just the sort of humour I need after a hard day here! you are doing a great job

  • Nishtha

    Good reasons they are…and this blog gave me a hearty laugh even when we are angry with the way negotiations are coming along. Good good job in Bangkok, Leela!

  • cindy

    fabulous. You have nailed this in one.
    thank you for making me laugh.

  • Nistara

    lol….its just too funny! Great blog Leela!!

  • Snigdha

    brilliant post leela….keep up the great work. How you manage to think all this. awesome….. :)

  • Pallavi

    Good going Leela! Great message in a smart way!

  • http://larvatusprodeo.net dk.au

    Sooooo, you met any Australia guys yet? We’ve got a BIG reputation in LULUCF – I guarantee you’ve never met anyone so flexible! ;)

  • http://adoptanegotiator.org/contributors/carabevington/ Cara Bevington

    Leela – you’re so brilliant! this is witty and punchy
    I can’t wait for the follow up blog after your “first date”

  • Rituraj

    This was awesome Leela !!
    all the characteristics of Annex-I countries are so true…
    Keep inspiring…

  • http://worldcolouredglasses.blogspot.com Ann

    Hehe! Very very smartly done! But be careful, you can’t have everything you want. Settling in love and negotiations is a pain but necessary.

  • http://www.ukycc.co.uk Casper ter Kuile

    By far the best Adopt A Negotiator blog I’ve ever read! Really strong message and brilliant tone : ) Keep it up!

    Casper

  • jar

    don’t believe everything you read about Annex 1 (esp Australian) men :-) – they’re not as flexible as they would lead you to believe (ie – they can’t commit to targets). ;-)

  • Pierre

    Hahahah – this one was hilarious Leela! After a whole day of wading through all the clutter at Bangkok, this is a breath of fresh air!

  • http://indiaclimatesolutions.com Caroline

    Amazing post, Leela! You’ve made this hilarious, informational, and incredibly astute! Incredible!

  • http://www.350.org/silentclimateparade Daniel Boese

    Leela,

    this is the funniest thing I have read on the whole UN-climate-change-negotiations and the smartest!

  • http://adoptanegotiator.org/author/zo/ Zoe Caron

    I can tell you from experience that Canadian lovers will agree in principle that relationships are good (read: they think committing to high emission targets is necessary) but they don’t actually want to be in a relationship themselves (read: they won’t commit to high domestic emission targets).

  • http://adoptanegotiator.org/contributors/bjervey/ Ben Jervey

    Hey now–I might leave the lights on, turn the heat up, and drive down the block to pick up McDonald’s, but at least I put the seat down after I use the toilet!

  • Saloni

    awesome leela..it is really gud..hillarious..informative..u prove ur point keeping us hooked..its 1 of the best blogs i have read..keep up the work

  • maryam

    this is seriously gold!! well done!! way to portray the probs with annex 1 players in a very communicative, effective, and fun way..you are using the same tactics as a mainstream fashion magazine

  • Seb

    Great Post! Hope the boys will become responsible in the coming 2 months…

  • Kimia Ghomeshi

    Leela, i miss you and this is amazing.

  • http://climatechange.thinkaboutit.eu/think2/post/saving_india_from_oil_and_more_oil Abhishek

    And not to forget, when ever you point out that he is fat(emits too much co2) and needs to lose some weight(emit lesser), his first reaction is to call you fat! :D

  • vidhan ashok

    tht ws awsum leela,,,nice one….witty…

  • http://shobhnaiyer.blogspot.com Shobhna

    Ah queen of subtlety! That was brilliant. :)

  • Aayush

    Amazing Leela….. i did not knw u r such a great writer….. its a nice way …. this needs to be published in sum Annex 1′s paper………..great goin al the best

  • Meera Ghani

    Brilliant, just brilliant!!!

  • Paul Ferris

    And the worst thing is, you’ve been telling him this since at least 1992, and he still has the nerve to keep asking you out. Man, get your stuff together. He’s gotta change before this is ever gonna work!

    Awesome.

  • Grace Mwaura

    Perfect blog for a perfect timing…..keep it up girl

  • bhoopinder

    Vultures dining on the Poor Ones…No compromises on their diets…global phenomenon…jus look around you…..well written :)

  • Rebecca

    hahaha…quite a riot!! :D

  • Ashwini Prabha

    Great stuff…now you know how to get more traffic on the tracker site…mor edating stories :)
    good break down..keep it up Leela

  • Marstella E. Jack

    Simply superb!! Awesome………..

  • Ken

    Amusing yes, but if there is a bottom line it would be ‘I failed miserably in managing my life so far, so please care for me, support me and help me deal with all my problems’. Rubbish…

  • Steve McCoy

    Love this Leela! The negotiations are a lot like the dating game where you eventually end up thinking that being single (read: sub-national climate policy leadership) is the only way to go!

    Awaiting for the ‘The Trouble with dating a NA1 girl’ response… @Ken – get creative dude!

    BTW, are there really no NA1 guys in Bangkok… what’s with that??

  • Matt

    @Ken: and then there would be another line below that which says “This situation is due to centuries of colonialial persecution and exploitation – topped off with a heavy dose of capitalism designed to perpetuate the existing problems to ensure a cheap labor-force. So please pay your historic debt for the wealth you gained through our effort.”

    Of course, you may not be looking for accuracy.

  • Mayank Aggarwal

    Great way to spread the message …. nice and refreshing …

  • Marianne

    Clever girl! The only light moment in the programme so far!

  • Dawn Lee

    Hilarious!! :) Thanks for this!

  • Dee Christensen

    A brilliant take on things. Will defintely be returning to your blog.

  • Caroline Nute

    I love your take on Male non-commitment Leela, hope the boys wake up soon and realise they really do love their mother and want her to live well and happily. (Read:- Mother earth is the mother we all need to respect and love the most and climate stabilisation is what she needs most right now!)

  • Susan Brown

    Absolutely sensational piece.

  • Varun

    Nice!! an awesomely creative way to put a point across… lol to both the Annex 1 guys and wanna-be-annex1 (non annex 1) freaks in india!…

    But what about the Annex 1 girls??? any reason why not to date those chics?

  • Rosalind

    Brilliant piece! Put in terms that everyone can understand!

  • garima

    brilliant one…i hope they get to realise the level of commitment in indian vows and promises!long way to go for annex1..

  • RAHUL PATHAK

    wah kya baat hai! you used your skills so craftly.

  • Tara

    I love this!!!! You are awesome. High five.

  • shiv vasisht

    hahahahahaha! nice!

  • eric

    haha, it’s so true and yet such an exaggeration, or maybe that’s just the defeated annex-1 in me, after all. =( =P

  • Arun Raj

    amazing write up!!! beautiful comparison!!!

  • Abhijit Sinha

    Get it on Facebook… excellent way the entire jargonised thingummy has been put in simple, easy to understand way for GenX/Y/Z (that’s becoz I’m over the hill post-50)!

  • http://www.facebook.com/mountainmanmuses Russell

    Hahahaha! I love it. I’m a Canadian indigenous person. We see pretty much the same thing about our wealthy white overlords. Never thought to write it up as a dating question. Maybe I should think about writing the same but in hunter’s terms.

    SAME issues, same.

  • http://kirfaid.org Angel Kirwin

    Hilarious. I’m sending this to my husband who attended the climate change talks in Bangkok as a volunteer with Mediators Beyond Borders. Your satire makes the climate changer lingo and esoteric UN-ese more understandable for the rest of us. :)

  • Liz

    A ha ha. Too funny, sharing it all with my tree hugger friends from the non-annex 1 countries (read Africa). They need a good laugh!

  • http://rplink.blogspot.com saurav

    stop running behind the guys and get a life
    enjoy………

  • http://rplink.blogspot.com saurav

    the above stated thoughts are todays reality but there are about 20-25% guys are also present who dnt follow these

  • Ethel

    Had a good old non-Annexe 1 (African) laugh!

  • Laura Grainger

    Oh wow! How true!

    This made me laugh so much Leela! Glad I finally got around to reading it. I especially love the pictures. Wish you’d been in Barcelona!

  • praj

    Best!
    came to know abt the blog frm hindu……hence visited it!
    kp goin.al d best 4 uor future project!

  • kEVIN

    YOU ARE RIGHT ABOUT EVERYTHING U SAY

  • saurav

    try to date someone who fills your whims :P Like me..

    That will be much better…

  • http://blogs.newsx.com/thirdrock/2010/06/12/adopt-a-negotiator/ Adopt-a-negotiator

    [...] are now some of the most popular on the Adopt-A-Negotiator website. In one post, she writes about why girls shouldn’t date boys from Annex 1 countries – in other words rich countries. The reason? They make promises but don’t keep them. [...]

  • http://adoptanegotiator.org/contributors/amilyyang/ Amily Yang

    awesome!!!!!!!!!!!Will see you in the evening!

  • http://jrussar.wordpress.com/2009/10/10/adote-um-negociador/ Adote um negociador « Blog da Juliana Russar

    [...] as conversas em Bancoc desde o começo, em 28 de setembro. A indiana é Leela Raina, que neste post dá às mocinhas dez motivos hilários para não namorar um cara do Anexo 1. O texto está em [...]

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