As the final plenaries roll into the afternoon, we the civil society have a task on our hands. While the twitter decks must crack, the wifi must crash and the blogs will stream through the plenary heat waves, we must each protect our collactive sanity.
Let’s get ready for tonight everyone!
(Please drink responsibly, preferably with either pisco or non-alcoholic Peruvian juice (or both!). Self-care matters, people!)
Canada bullies anyone, anytime = 3 shots
Russia waves its name card but is ignored = 1 shot
EU huddle = 1 shot
Every time a G77 country’s sole negotiator falls asleep behind their placard = find an Umbrella negotiator and buy them shots until you both pass out
Every time 1.5C limit mentioned = 1.5 shots
Every time 2C limit mentioned = 2 shots
Developed country says “option 1” = 1 shot
Country uses metaphor or analogy to explain their point = 1 shot
Australia/Canada/NZ/Japan/US speaking = hold a shot in your mouth. If they reinforce importance of mitigation, spit it out
Developed country wants Loss and Damage out of decision text = 1 shot
LMDC member mentions equity = 1 shot
Umbrella group compromises in any way = finish your whole drink
Country spends more time thanking Peru than saying anything productive = 1 shot
AOSIS speaking = waterfall!
Claudia Salerno speaks out against capitalism = BUY yourself 1 shot
Every time an LDC mentions importance of finance = drink while nodding
Co-Chair/President mentions scheduling change = 2 shots
Tweet other submissions @AdoptNegotiator!
NEWLY ADDED: Special Day 14 Edition!
COP President mentions trust and transparency = take 3 sips
Plenary session not running on time = sip every 5 additional minutes
Spot a negotiator with a blanket = 1 shot
COP President suspends plenary “in order to view new text” = 3 shots and an hour-long nap
Air conditioning starts to work in plenary = belly button shot
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